Sunshine Part Two

9yr old is finally in bed. My bed, but bed, none the less. I have been absolutely amazed by how much she feels the death (almost-possibly-not-sure-death) of Sunshine (hamster) is her fault. You always hear it, as an adult, how much a child blames themselves for divorce (and worse), but I could never really understand it. Like it was written in a text book, that you know is right, but don't really have a connection with. But tonight, she listed 5 things that she could have done better, that would have meant Sunshine lived longer. Which she wouldn't have done - Nell - when you read this. x

I suppose we all do it, when someone/thing dies, we think of all the things we would have liked to have done differently. We blame ourselves for all the things we could have done better - but then hopefully, with Gin and a few years of experience, we move on and realise it's all part of life (sometimes not - for the really big things -but you know what I mean). But kids are too little to get 'life'. Life is 'now' and that means she really does feel responsible, because she has no larger frame of reference, to give it any perspective, than her small 9 years here. And I never would have quite known that, had we not decided to set up this blog. I love that she could so honestly and openly, explain here, how she felt and that it prompted us to sit and cuddle and chat and try to make it all a little bit better.

So the conclusion? Every parent and child should have a blog. Every parent should CHECK whether the hamster is dead before announcing it is and trying to bury it. And every parent should carry hip flasks of Gin, in case of emotional meltdowns on the way back from Brownies, for which they were totally unprepared.